Dancing On Guilt
by AugustClouds
Summary: There was something unexplainable in the way Takashi Morinozuka’s eyes dulled considerably at the sound of anything related to sweets. MorixHaru


**MorixHaruhi, I don't own OHC and this is unbeta'd cause I wrote it really quickly and _maybe_ it's pointless who knows, well knowing me it is but still it's angsty I guess, so if you don't like that then yeah.**

**Don't forget to review because then I know if it's crap or not :)**

**Plusss I couldn't think of any better name but figuratively I guess this works. Enjoy!**

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**Dancing On Guilt**

There was something unexplainable in the way Takashi Morinozuka's eyes dulled considerably at the sound of anything related to sweets.

'Mori, would you like some cake with your tea?' One of the Host Club's clients', a small framed girl with dark brown curls and large blue eyes gestured at Mori's clean plate. It took awhile for the silent, stoic host to respond to her question and when he did, with the trademark 'Aah' there wasn't the tiniest bit of abnormality in it, at least not that anyone apart from Haruhi had noticed.

Since Mori had arrived this morning, without the usual cheerful Honey bouncing on his shoulders, Haruhi had felt that something was a bit off. Sure Tamaki was being hoarded over by the usual cluster of fan girls and coincidently enough, the Hitachiin twins had their fair share swooning over their act of 'brotherly love', not to mention Kyouya sitting as calculative as ever in the far corner of the room keeping an eye on everyone and measuring up statistics and even Mori – without his always present partner – was still at work, which left Haruhi to wonder just what _was_ it that had made this day any different to another minus Honey.

That was just it, though. Mori was nearly never seen without him.

The girl – whose name Mori had not remembered- was a new client to the Host Club. Not only was she blissfully unaware of how uncomfortable Mori had become with the cake that was thrust in front of him, to top things off she continued to blabber incessantly about things that did not seem to concern anyone but herself. It was hard to see past Mori's vacant expression but one could see that he paid no attention to her-save the occasional polite nods-that he was deeply lost somewhere in his own mind.

Haruhi excused herself after she had finished with her final designation; she made her way to where Mori still sat staring blankly with downcast eyes. He was still staring at the untouched piece of cake that had been offered to him hours earlier.

Haruhi cleared her throat, 'Umm, Mori-sempai, are you okay?' there was no immediate reply but Mori raised his eyes to meet Haruhi's. To any other on-looker there would be no specific purpose in this action other than that of a normal reflex, but to Haruhi this was Mori's way of telling her that everything was _not_ okay. That in actual fact, reflected in Mori's eyes was a plea for help.

Everyone knew that Honey was sick. He had come into school at the beginning of this week with pallid skin and what looked like dark bruises under his eyes. His usual honey-coloured eyes that shone with persistent happiness had turned a darker shade closer to auburn and his shoulders hunched with an invisible weight that Haruhi could only assume was burden. That burden remained unknown as Honey flashed his usual bright smile and assured anyone who asked that he was just fine. _'I just have a tiny flu, that's all – now about some cake?' _It was clear that Honey was not fine, for more than often he had rushed to the bathroom and he was forever drinking tea to quench his excessive thirst. He had also knocked into various unmoving objects, be it a wall or a door and even Mori who had stood well within his line of vision.

Despite the growing concern that everyone had for Honey, he kept on coming. He attended school like there was absolutely nothing wrong with him and entertained clients in his typical cute friendly manner.

Today was the only day Honey had not shown up. When Tamaki had asked Mori he had simply answered with a short and concise '_He is sick and needs some rest'_, in a tone which –even a nosy Tamaki – knew not to question any further.

Haruhi sat down opposite Mori, taking in his clenched fists and rigid form. 'Is there… anything I can do to help?' Haruhi slowly asked, not wanting to startle him. Mori broke away from his silent reverie; he began to unclench his fists though he still sat frozen, his eyes softened a little.

'Haruhi' Mori breathed, dropping his façade for the tiniest moment to let Haruhi see the pain that laced his dark brown orbs and the lines of worry that had formed on his forehead. Haruhi waited patiently for him to continue, it was not often that Mori expressed his feelings, he preferred to beat himself up for anything that had happened to his cousin, inevitably- like it had been written, signed and sealed in a book of law somewhere- it was always his fault.

'Mitsukuni will be alright' he said, more of a statement than a question, though Haruhi could hear the smallest hint of doubt in his voice.

'He will' she affirmed quietly, more to convince him and her that it was exactly how Honey would be. Deception was always the best coping device, yet Haruhi could not count this as deception for she knew no reason why Honey should be otherwise. Mori had needed to hear her say that just as much as she had needed to say it. She took in the slightly more relaxed features of her companion, Mori had such a defined jaw line and piercing dark eyes, it was something that made up greatly for his lack of words yet somehow his face was still contorted with pain – something that Haruhi's reassurance could never cure.

Suddenly it hurt. To look at her friend that was so evidently suffering a great deal of pain. It was true that whatever Honey felt, Mori would feel too – and if it was pain, his would be a thousand times worse.

Haruhi placed a comforting hand on Mori's shoulder; she looked compassionately into his eyes, 'Tell me what's wrong, Mori-sempai' she squeezed his shoulder lightly, hoping that the silent host would confide in her.

'Mitsukuni…' Mori started, his voice dropping into a barely audible whisper, 'Mitsukuni has… has…' his voice trailed off.

'Its okay, Mori-sempai…' Haruhi coaxed gently her eyes never leaving his.

Mori swallowed thickly, 'Mitsukuni has diabetes' he finished helplessly, dropping his head to hide the prickle of tears that began to form in the corners of his eyes.

Haruhi gasped, it seemed unbelievable to Haruhi's ears that Honey had been diagnosed with diabetes at his young age, that Honeys' pancreas was failing to make enough insulin for his body. She knew that Honey had a sweet tooth but diabetes seemed impossible for the young fit host who trained everyday at home and was a renowned master in martial arts.

That was when it hit her; Haruhi realized that Honey would never be able to have the sweets he adored ever again, that the cake he had devoured so quickly yesterday night would be his last, that every time he had a meal it would never be as sweet. He would always long for the sweets that were well within his reach yet so far away and know with a heavy heart that he could _never_ ever have them. What would it feel like to be deprived of the one thing on earth that you loved the most?

Haruhi could only imagine.

Tamaki had once told Honey to be himself. That real strength and real power came from accepting who you are and what you love. Honey had finally relished in his own unique personality – what would he do now that half of who he is gone?

Mori knew that Haruhi was asking the same questions he had asked himself when he found out; he felt her hand go slack against his shoulder.

'Mori-sempai…' she mumbled still in shock, 'I-I… I'm sorry'. Haruhi was at a lost for words. There was a brief pause; nothing that Haruhi could have said would make everything alright. She knew that Mori was beating himself up harder to make up for the pain that Honey was going to feel for the rest of his life. She realized that he was dancing on guilt that was so thick it blurred out everything else that had mattered in his life. If he had restricted Honey from eating too many sweets he could have…

He could have saved him.

Instead he had swirled blindly past everything; letting Honey have whatever he wanted, whilst his feet went numb with obliviousness, not knowing that someday, when he stopped the music to take a real look at the life he was dancing on, he would realize it was too late.

Now all that was left was to focus on what he had done, that in the heart of his guilt, his only purpose was to feel more pain to make himself _suffer_ for his mistake.

She saw clearly the reason that Mori held a bitter resent to the sound of anything related to sweets and suddenly her eyes were clouded and her cheeks felt damp. 'It's not your fault Mori-sempai' she almost choked on her words as she struggled to get them out right, 'Please…' she pleaded, 'Don't hurt yourself anymore, Honey-sempai wouldn't want that…I don't want that…'

She felt a strong hand stroke her cheek wiping the tears that were endlessly falling.

Mori didn't have to ask to know why Haruhi was crying.

'Don't cry, Haruhi' came his soft reply as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, his hand patting her back to comfort her. Somehow he knew Haruhi was right, that indeed Mitsukuni would never have wanted this for him but it was something that he wanted, no _needed, _to do.

It was his silent oath.

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**Angsty? Too pointless? Review please and let me know!**


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